Part of self-improvement is learning to love yourself properly. I've shared in my previous blog regarding my journey of self-improvement. Those experiences led me to this area of my life that I want to improve. I've researched, read books, articles, journals, and watched videos related to this area of interest that I want to improve in. That simple step is a life changer. It helps me in my progress. I just want to share my humble learning that might help you.
All the information that I gathered in that article, books, and audiobooks was really helpful, but the core heart of self-love I found in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4–8. Love is kind and patient; it does not envy or boast, and it is not arrogant or rude.It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears everything, believes everything, hopes everything, and endures everything.Love never ends.
As I read this verse over and over again, it gained me some insight that gave me a new perspective on the definition of love. For me, it means that when we experience patience within ourselves and kindness towards others, there is God. When there is no boasting and rudeness in us, there is God in us. When we consider other people and not just focus on ourselves, then God is in us. When we choose to understand, forgive, and not tolerate wrongdoing and choose the right thing, then God is working in us. When we choose to believe, hope, bear, and endure, all in the name of the Lord, for God is Love, We know that the purest love that God has given to us means that we need to give first to ourselves before we can truly love other people, especially our family, friends, partners, and other people.
Let's begin the journey of loving ourselves.
As we walk on this journey, we need a guide to help us live the life that the Lord wants us to live. As I previously mentioned earlier, the Bible verse will be the source of insight that I will share with you.
The 8 PRACTICAL WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF
1. “Love is patient”. Learn to be patient within.
Looking back on how I gained patience within myself, it was very challenging to overcome every day, every moment, every second. Through understanding my past, the people and the environment in that situation, I started to slowly know myself. It helps me know part of myself where it was developed unconsciously. That made my past version of myself, that I was the product of the people and environment. All those emotions that were felt were healed.
Steps to achieve patience within
1.1 Say hello to your previous self.
It starts with the decision to genuinely strive to understand.
•the environment in which you are raised
• the background and experiences of those who raised you and those who surround you
Through this, you will gain insight into the past that made you who you are today. The more you understand your past, the more you understand yourself. You will know where to stand and where you are going.
1.2 Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
Acknowledge that you have the strength that you need to grow and develop because that is your gift to the Lord. It is your sole means of praising Him by honing your gift, talent, and resources. Look at your previous achievements. Things that you do easily that others find difficult to do. Focus on your strength most of the time.
Manage your weaknesses. First, identify what areas in your life are challenging. Then you have it, the power to change. You know what to change. Then work on it by observing how you handled it before and learning from it. You must consciously talk to yourself and label yourself as growing. The fact that you have the desire to change your situation is a life changer. Believe that you will improve, pray for it, work for it, and claim it.
(I prefer to write my progress in all the activities that I do to acknowledge my effort to look back on how much I have grown.)
1.3 Establish Healthy Boundaries.
Focus on the things that you have control of (your thoughts, emotions, behavior, and resources). Let go of the things that you don’t have control over (unexpected events, politics, weather, other people's thoughts, emotions, and behavior). Have the serenity to see the difference.
1.4 Have the fortitude to fight every day.
This is the battle that you will face in your lifetime. It is difficult at first, but once you know your trigger, you will find ways to deal with it, learn and do better. Let's just say it "practice makes it better." I will not say that the problem will not arise anymore, but the good thing is that when you face that same problem, you know how to handle it compared to before. It means that you learned from it, and it is a sign of your progress. It is not easy to take this challenge every single second or minute, but it is worth the effort.
2. "Love is kind." Learn to be kind to yourself.
Learn to be kind to yourself. Treating yourself right is one of the greatest gifts you will give. The moment you know how to treat yourself right, you will truly know how to give kindness to other people, especially your loved ones. I will categorize it by spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical.
Four forms of kindness
2.1 Spiritually
Give yourself a chance to talk to and build a relationship with the Lord. Simple prayer in the form of a conversation, as if you were speaking to a friend who loved you for who you are, guided you, assisted you in your life, and corrected you.One at a time, read some bible verses and pray for insight or wisdom on how to apply them to improve all aspects of your life.
What is prayer?
It is a safe sanctuary for admitting our need, adopting humility, and claiming dependence upon God.
It is when we encounter God that he gives us access to transform our minds, our hearts, and our souls.
It is being genuine with God, presenting ourselves to HIM without pretense.
It allows us to hear his voice, which places us in solidarity with God.
It exercises our faith and trust in God.
2.2. Emotionally
Your emotions are neither good nor bad. It is given to you to be human. It's like your friend; you need to know and understand what triggered them when that kind of feeling arises.It is necessary to express yourself, but do not allow it to control you.You are capable of feeling the emotion without letting it control you.
Based on the emotional agility of Susan David. It suggests steps to handle your emotions.
Step 1. Name your emotions. Unnamed emotions cause uncontrollable stress.
Learning to label emotions with a more nuanced vocabulary can be absolutely transformative.
Step 2.
The goal is not to always feel good. The goal is to deal with destructive thoughts and emotions.
Step 3. Step out of it.
Observe your emotions and act according to your values. If I’m reacting to this emotion, do I reflect on my values?
Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space, we have the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. Viktar Frark
Allow your emotions to be an asset rather than a liability. Remember, you have the power to choose..
2.3. Mentally
One way to show kindness to yourself is to attain a good mindset and perspective on life through audio books, books, and articles, especially if you observe that this is not your nature. It means that you need to be aware of your thoughts and when they trigger you. But if you have a healthy environment that supports a good mindset and perspective, it will be easy for you to grow your understanding and perspective in many areas of life. These steps will assist you in your progress if you want to improve your mind set.
Ways to be mentally strong
1. Every day, make a list of things for which you are grateful.
It may be some mobile app that will let you remember to list down things that you are grateful for, or it may be in the form of a notebook and ball pen. It will shift your focus to the things that you have rather than the things that you don’t have. There are always good things in life, even if there are some events that make you feel unhappy or sad. Take a deep breath, look around, be in the moment. What happened today that you are still grateful for despite the undesirable event?
2. Read an inspirational book or listen to a motivational audiobook and absorb the information.
Give a try to reading the bible, which has many lives of learning that will give wisdom to you. Also, help yourself to build a growth mindset by consciously making an effort to consume inspirational, motivational books or audiobooks for personal development. Take 30 minutes to an hour, any time of day, to feed yourself with such uplifting words that will shape a positive perspective on one or many areas of your life.
3. Be conscious of how you label yourself.
Knowing how you see yourself is one way to evaluate how you treat yourself as a person. Words like "stupid," "idiot, "foolless," "brainless, and "unconsciously harming yourself." The fact about you is that you are capable of achieving your dream. Believe in yourself and your ability to learn and grow into the best version of yourself.
3.4 Physically
Taking care of your health is also one way to show kindness to yourself through giving proper care to your body through getting proper sleep, enough water intake, healthy diet and exercise. It will not only boost your confidence, but it will also make you feel more energetic, allowing you to be more productive.
Simple ways to take your health
Proper sleep – get enough sleep by establishing a bedtime routine.One way to remind yourself is to set an alarm on your phone indicating you need to go to bed. When it rings to remind you of your bedtime, it is telling you to love yourself, get into bed, and sleep well.
Water intake—fun facts! Do you drink enough water? Did you know that your body is mostly composed of water? It needs to be supplied from time to time for better functioning. The usual recommended daily water intake is a minimum of 8 glasses of water. Every sip and every cup of water consumed is an act of self-love.
Healthy diet: Plan your menu for the following weeks. That will give you time for the busy days of the week. Include vegetables and fruits for vitamins, minerals, and fiber sources that will sustain healthy function of the body, have enough carb sources that may be in the form of brown rice, whole wheat bread, corn, sweet potatoes, or potatoes, less fatty meat sources that will help you lower the risk of having CVD in the future, and have enough protein sources to maintain body muscles and other uses of protein. Every time you eat healthy foods, it means that you are loving yourself by taking care of yourself.
Exercises on a regular basis – Every jog, Zumba, or other physical activity is an act of self-love. Start with just 5 minutes every day. Your goal is to consciously practice giving it to yourself. Until it becomes a habit. Increase slowly from 5 minutes to 10 minutes after 1 week, after 2 weeks, from 15 minutes after 3 weeks, to 20 minutes until you reach 1 hour.
Take it one step at a time and every time you give it to yourself, you know that it is an act of love that you are giving to yourself.
4. "Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude." Learn to see yourself and other people as children of God.
To do this, first practice seeing yourself as a child of God. Pray for it, ask for it, work for it, believe that God is with you, guiding and helping you. It is really difficult, especially if you have had negative experiences with people treating you badly. When you start to see separate from their wrongdoings, that they are people with problems, not people with problems, then you know that God is working within you. It is not easy, but it is worth it.
5. Love does not insist on its own way of doing things. Respect each other's boundaries.
In order to grow the relationship, you have to know that you have healthy boundaries that need to be respected. When you observe people making mistakes and want to help them, with the loving care of words, state the things they need to grow. You know that you have done your part to help that person, but the work should start within that person.
6. Love is not irritable or resentful.
Life is not perfect. You have many flaws in your environment, people, and uncontrollable life events. The earlier you realize it and focus on the things that are good and growing, the more you can see and approach life with a more positive attitude and believe in a better future.
7. "Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth." Maintain a focus on progress while refusing to tolerate undesirable behavior.
Determine the problematic behavior you wish to modify. Attempt to describe the behavior as thoroughly as possible. What could have triggered the behavior? Include specifics about the situation. Who was in the room right before the behavior was elicited? Where did it happen? What items were there? Attempt to identify the antecedents that increase your chances of making the wrong decision. What was the outcome? There are two kinds of outcomes: rewards and punishment. Punishment will not encourage the behavior, whereas rewards will. There are both immediate and long-term consequences. It is critical to understand that short-term consequences are more powerful than long-term consequences because the brain finds it easier to associate a specific behavior with short-term consequences.
8. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
In this process of self-love, know that it is not easy. It is an everyday spiritual battle that may let you down when things don’t go as planned, but believe that God is with you all the time, call on his name in all things that you do, hope that God will lift you up in your situation, endure the process of pruning to bear much spiritual fruit of character, genuine care of people, and competence in all things you do.
This is all my insight about self-love, and I am still forever learning to gain more wisdom or insight in this area of my life. If you are in the process of self-love, what are the learnings that you can share with us? Comment down below with your story. I would love to read that story of yours. Let us support each other to continue to love ourselves and grow to be a better version.
Comments
Post a Comment